Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
