im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
