sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
