Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
