So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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