after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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