when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
