Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
