like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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