sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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