good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
