Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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