I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
