What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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