i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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