People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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