Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
