i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
