PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
