why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
