I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize