make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
