We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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