glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
