i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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