Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize