he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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