he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
