we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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