I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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