Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
