I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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