You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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