a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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