DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
