beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
