And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
