She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
