I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
