somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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