hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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