guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
