Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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