Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
this boner is exhausting
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
