So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
