Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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