I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
