your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
