I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
