I just pynch a tree in the face
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need water and some morals
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