Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Fuck me I smell like cheese
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
