i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize