As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
