i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
