I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
