Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
