ugly people sure do ruin things
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
