ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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